Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker

The constant barrage of emotional moments is a bit much, but aside from that, I liked the tone of The Rise of Skywalker. There isn't a whole lot to the plot, but the characters are likeable and it looks good, which is about all I expect from a Star Wars movie.

I wasn't really into the first six movies, so I don't have any allegiance to what "Star Wars" is supposed to be. I did like the two new ones, though.

I can appreciate that it's a closing of the arc, but I didn't like how every 5 seconds they hit you with saying goodbye to another big character. There was also a constant barrage of triumphant moments. Somebody described the movie as being waterboarded. Sure you like water, but that's too much water. I kind of agree.

Leia looked kind of weird. I always like Rey's outfit, though. I liked the new droid, but it's kind of weird that they keep introducing new ones.

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald is a fully "okay" movie. I still like the magic and the creatures. It raises some questions about characters I previously thought of as "good," like Dumbledore and Queenie. I'm interested to see where they go with the rest of the series.

I had a lot of problems seeing Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald. I wanted to see it in a theater on my birthday. It was only playing into theaters by then, one in Shoreline, and one in Tacoma. The one in Shoreline only had one showing a day. I don't see movies in theaters very often (in fact, it's about once a year, on my birthday). I didn't realize that a lot of the theaters have switched over to having you pick your seat when you buy the ticket.

I didn't get to the theater until about five minutes before the movie started. The only tickets that were left were in the front row. I tried it out, but it was impossible to see anything. I should have just seen a different movie, but I wound up not seeing anything at all, which really sucked.

I wound up waiting until Grindelwald came to the $4 theater to try again. I normally sit in the back row of the theater, but the screen at the Crest was so small that I wanted to sit in the middle. I ended up not being able to do that, even though there were open seats where I wanted to be. So I had to sit all the way in the back. For about the first third of the movie, I felt like I couldn't even see it, and I kept missing a bunch of dialogue because I couldn't hear it, either.

I read a review that said Newt's affect gets really annoying. Maybe my perception was just colored by that, but I definitely agreed. Like, just stand up straight at least.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Star Wars: The Last Jedi doesn't do a lot to advance the plot considering the length of the movie, but it still feels pretty epic in places.

I didn't really know what Star Wars: The Last Jedi was going to be about before I saw it. I guess it's not really about much of anything. It definitely feels like a middle movie. I didn't like the old Star Wars movies, although I don't really remember them, so I should probably watch them again. But I do like the new ones.

This one seemed really "big," like it was a spectacle, and I was glad I saw it at the theater. There were a couple of times when the music went up and you felt the grandiosity of things, and it was nice.

I liked what they did with Kylo and Rey connecting. Kylo really is a lackluster villain, though. He always just seems whiny and weak. The entire First Order seems pretty hackneyed, especially that red-headed general they featured so much this time.

They went really heavy on the animals, with the big donkey horses, and the ice foxes, and the bird things. It just stood out, it didn't really blend well.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

I've liked all of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, and Dead Men Tell No Tales is no different. It's not going to win an Oscar or anything, but Javier is appropriately menacing, the plot holds things together well enough, and overall it's fun and familiar.

I like the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. I used to like Johnny Depp, but that's getting more difficult with all the "personal life" stuff that's been happening with him recently. I like the tone of the movies, though. And they're so familiar, with the music and everything. I like the "pirate adventure" angle, and seeing Jack running around doing crazy stuff.

The witch was super weird. I couldn't get behind her at all, or figure out if we were supposed to remember her from one of the other movies. They kind of overdid it with the makeup on the pirates. They all looked like they had some hardcore sun damage going on, and I felt like it wasn't necessary.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

You pretty much know the plot of King Arthur from the trailer – Arthur has to kill the evil king – and Guy Ritchie’s style doesn’t exactly mesh seamlessly with the genre and tone. But it’s fun to watch anyway; Charlie Hunnam is a charismatic lead, there are some great musical choices, and it looks amazing.

 
I like Guy Ritchie’s movies, and I knew I wanted to see  King Arthur: Legend of the Sword as soon as I saw the trailer. His style of dialogue doesn’t 100% mesh with the tone of the movie, but it wasn’t disastrous, and I like it, anyway. It was kind of funny to see them setting up the assassination attempt like a heist. The whole “here’s what everybody’s going to say” schtick isn’t my favorite, though.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is a little campy, and I’m still not a fan of the makeup, but there’s something likeable about the characters, and I enjoyed the story.

I got to see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 in the theater, which was pretty cool, although I had to sit closer than I would’ve liked (even though we got there almost an hour early and there were seats available in the back). It does kind of make you feel like you’re more “in” it when you sit six rows back, I guess.

I’m still not a fan of the bold colors. I guess that’s just the look they’re going for. But the greasepaint aspect is annoying. Groot looked pretty good. He didn’t really stand out as CG. I guess everything is a little cartoon-y, so he blended in. Rocket looked super scruffy.

I do like all the characters, especially Drax for some reason. Mantis’ outift was cool. I liked how it resembled an insect. They kind of lost me in the opening scene. I felt like the level of camp or just the general vibe wasn’t my thing. But I either got used to it or they toned it down, because I didn’t notice it after that.

John Wick: Chapter 2

John Wick 2 doesn’t hold a candle to the original. The action is boring, the plot doesn’t make sense, and it’s all just a setup for the next one.

I didn’t see John Wick in the theater, and when I watched it, I wished I had. So I was determined to see John Wick 2 in the theater (and I did). There were only two other people there, so that was nice. The opening scene was great. I loved the view of New York, even though I had no idea that’s what city it was. And the opening car chase was cool, too. But it was all downhill from there.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

There isn't a whole lot more to the plot of Fantastic Beasts than "the guy has to get his creatures back," but I do always like the world of Harry Potter, and it's interesting to see it in a different country, in the '20s, without Harry Potter or any kids at all. It's a pleasant starting point for the series.

Last movie of 2016, in which I saw eight more movies than 2015. Still didn't quite hit my goal of one a week. I'm glad I saw Fantastic Beasts in the theater, although a lot of the CG was slightly off. I wasn't expecting much, and it delivered on that; another one of those where it's pretty much all in the trailer. Newt was a likeable character. He reminded me of The Doctor, probably because of the hair, the blue coat, and being British. All of the characters were likeable, though, especially Queenie and Jacob.

The Magnificent Seven

The Magnificent Seven has a lot of flaws, and the acting isn't good enough to carry the lack of plot and character development. Some of the action is cool, but it's not really enough to make it worth watching.

The Magnificent Seven got mixed reviews, but I was hoping it could be carried on the virtue of the actors. Turns out it couldn't. The plot is ridiculously simple, but you know that going in, so they really need to do some character development or have some cool tricks or something, but they don't. It felt really tired and unispired. The whole "defending a small town with tricks" thing has been done to death. You've got to have some spectacularly impressive tricks if you're going to make it entertaining, and they didn't.

Captain America: Civil War

There wasn't a lot of substance to Captain America: Civil War. It basically left me feeling like, "Was that a movie? Did I just watch something?" Some of the action was cool, and I guess the question it raises is interesting, but it's less than memorable.

I didn't see the first two Captain America movies, so I guess I was missing out on a bit of backstory here (and apparently the second Avengers movie would have been relevant as well, which I also didn't see). But I think I get the idea – the Avengers are destroying stuff, and Cap and Bucky were friends when they were growing up. I think I read a review that said it's an interesting dilemma, the fact that so many innocent people die in these things, and that this movie doesn't really provide any answers.

I think it sort of does. Cap's logic seems pretty sound. I guess it's just like in any war. Ultimately you're saving more lives. It's not like they're out there *trying* to kill innocent people. And putting the government in charge of them wouldn't be good. Although there probably should be some sort of system of checks and balances in case one of them is ever less than altruistic. Maybe it works if they're just self-policing.

X-Men: Apocalypse

There's not much to say about X-Men: Apocalypse other than if you like the X-Men, you'll probably like it. The action looks cool, the plot is interesting (albeit simple), and you get to see more characters in their younger iterations.

I begin this post about X-Men: Apocalypse with the disclaimer that I've never seen an X-Men movie I didn't like – although that could be because I've strategically avoided X2 and X3. And I knew I didn't want to see The Wolverine. And it's not even listed as an X-Men movie, so I'm not counting it (I didn't like it. But I did like X-Men Origins: Wolverine, unlike everyone else). I watched and liked the animated series, and the X-Men are definitely my favorite superheroes.

Apocalypse got a lot of bad reviews. It seemed like no one really liked it. I liked it. I didn't think it had too many characters or anything. A lot of them were people we already knew. I can't stand Sansa as Jean, though. I just don't like that actress. Then again, I felt the same way about Jennifer Lawrence, and I'm getting more used to her in the role now I guess.

Alice Through the Looking Glass

Alice Through the Looking Glass was cool to see in the theater, but I wouldn’t recommend it outside of that. It could’ve been a lot better. Aesthetically it alternates between gorgeous and freakish; the plot’s largely contradictory and uncompelling; the dialgoue is trite; and Mia doesn’t quite have the presence to pull off the Alice they’re trying to portray.

Roeper warned me that Alice Through the Looking Glass wasn’t going to be any good, but I didn’t listen. It looked pretty, so I wanted to see it. It was pretty. Although the Hatter and the Red Queen looked really freaky and screwed with the aesthetic appeal for a lot of the movie. Alice’s outfits were really cool, though. I loved that crazy thing that she wore to the ball.

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens

The Force Awakens really is just like a re-hash of the original Star Wars movies with different actors, and the whole thing is slightly "off," but it was still fun to watch.

I'm not really a Star Wars fan. I made the mistake of watching the first six movies in episode order rather than chronological. Hayden Christensen was terrible. And I didn't get much out of the originals, either. But I kept seeing posts about this one, and I realized you don't get many chances to see a Star Wars movie in the theater, so I went to see it on the big screen.

I'm glad I did; it was worth $3. It's cool that Harrison Ford and everybody is still around to reprise their roles. I don't really see Carrie Fisher as Leia, though; I pretty much just see her as the actress Carrie Fisher. I liked that it felt like a reboot with young actors, although I guess the series in general has been about young people. I didn't recognize Adam Driver at all as Kylo. He looks a lot younger in the movie. BB8 was pretty adorable. His name sounded a little awkward when people said it.

Furious 7

Furious 7 could've been a much better movie if they had just tried a little harder not to be so absurdly cliché. There were some cool stunts, though, and I can't say I didn't enjoy it.

I don't know why I keep watching these. Maybe now that Walker's gone, I can stop. I held out for about half of the trailer before I saw too many interesting stunts and felt like I wanted to watch it. And then Roeper gave it a favorable review, so I had to do it. I don't regret it, but I do wish it could've been just a bit less cliché and more intelligent.

X-Men: Days of Future Past

X-Men: Days of Future Past is a nice addition to the series. The themes are consistent, the characters are interesting, and there's some cool stuff going on. Considering all the material they have, it seems like they could keep doing episodes like this forever. 

My X-Men exposition feels a little familiar since I just talked about it for the last Wolverine movie, but I'll say it again. I've never read the comics, but I liked the X-Men: Evolution animated series, and the first X-Men movie; I skipped the second one and First Class. I love James McAvoy, so that's pretty much all I needed to be interested in this one. The 70s kitsch might have seemed novel, too, but in practice it wasn't actually very interesting.

Mystique really bugged me. I don’t like Jennifer Lawrence, and I don't get why Mystique has to be naked all the time. It just looks weird. I don't remember how Mystique looked in X-Men, but in this one it really seemed like Jennifer was just wearing a nylon suit. Her hands were so obviously painted, it just didn't work; it made all the wrinkles in her hands stand out so much. I didn't like her hair, either. I don't like seeing her feet, and her body looks bizarre. It seems like she wears clothes a lot in the comics, so I don't see why they couldn't have put some clothes on her.

I have a problem recognizing Michael Fassbender, too. I feel like I just haven't seen him in anything. I kept thinking, "Am I supposed to know who that actor is? I know it's not Jude Law." And that was about as far as I could get with it. 

I loved the opening sequence. It brought you right into what's so cool about the X-Men; all the mutants' powers are so unique, and they can all do such cool things. I wasn't familiar with any of the characters, but I liked Blink's look. She had a lot of cool stuff going on. I wish they could've just stopped and shown us what she looked like. I don't think I like Ellen Paige as Kitty, but I never seem to like Ellen Paige in much of anything.

Gravity

You don't see a lot of mundane movies about space, really. Gravity is interesting if you're into that kind of thing, and it does maintain a good level of tension. There are some nice shots, and the soundtrack is fine, but it's not that impressive overall. 

I wasn't really interested in Gravity, but it got so much hype, I had to watch it. I'm not a huge Sandra Bullock or space fan, but it wasn't so bad. She didn't really have a lot to do here, it seemed like. I was skeptical about watching her float around space in a space suit for an hour and a half, but luckily she gets out of the suit and does some other stuff inside spacecraft, too. It wasn't the most amazingly beautiful thing I've ever seen. There were some nice shots of the Earth, but if you've seen any of Chris Hadfield's pictures on tumblr, you've pretty much seen all there is to see (in fact, more interesting stuff than there was in Gravity). The score had some nice moments, but it was mostly unremarkable.

Ender's Game

Ender's Game is well-made. The acting, writing, and production value are all fine. It's mildly interesting, but it doesn't really pick up until the end, and I wound up wondering why I watched it.

I haven't read any of the Ender's Game series, but the movie kind of looked interesting, and Roeper gave it a B at least. The acting was fine, and Asa was likeable enough as Ender. I'm not sure I would've kept the last name "Butterfield" if I were Asa. I guess he likes it.

The movie more or less held my interest, and it moved along at a quick pace. Probably too quick of a pace; in the book I imagine they had more time to draw things out. The pace made things seem a little choppy in the movie. It was well-made; it looked good, and the writing/dialogue was good. It was still a little flat, though. People on IMDb described it as "too linear" and "rushed," and I guess I'd agree with that.

The Wolverine

The Wolverine looked good, but there was a lot of nonsensical stuff going on, and there wasn't enough substance to justify a movie.

I didn't have any interest in seeing The Wolverine. Roeper said it was good, but the trailer just didn't sell it. Okay, Wolverine loses his healing power, and he has to get it back. And then he gets it back, I'm sure. Great. What's the point of the movie, exactly? Turns out there wasn't one, because that's all there was. It looked good, and I like Wolverine just fine, but there wasn't really any reason to make this movie. It came across as just a thing Wolverine did one time, without there really being any meaning to it. I guess it would've worked fine as a comic story arc, or a TV episode or something, but there has to be something more for it to work as a movie.

Fast & Furious 6

Fast & Furious 6 is a fun movie. Some of the fights and cars are cool. It's really clunky at the beginning, though, and the dialogue pretty much always sucks.

I don't know why I keep watching these movies. I guess I just like the premise. Cool cars and Paul Walker, yay? Maybe it's just because I've seen all the others, so I feel compelled to keep up with them. I figured this would be a good one to see in the theater, and that decision was validated right with the opening scene, in beautiful somewhere-or-other Spain. I was also immediately glad I brought ear plugs, since loud engines are the first thing you hear. I was a little confused that the opening title was "Furious 6," but I see now that was the original name for the movie. They probably should've changed the opening title. Just an idea.

The Great Gatsby

The Great Gatsby has a pretty uninspired plot, but the cinematography is great. It's a good way to find out what the story's all about, if you aren't familiar with it already.

I've never read The Great Gatsby, and I had no idea what it was about, so I was a blank slate coming into the movie. I was surprised by how long it took for Leo to make an appearance. I was like, "he is in this movie, right?" The opening parts with all the partying were kind of obnoxious and hard to follow. The camera was all over the place, and everything seemed a little shaky, a little off. Maybe that had to do with the 3D aspect (although I didn't watch it in 3D). Everything was kind of exaggerated and crazy, which was probably the effect they were going for, but I didn't exactly enjoy it.

I felt bad for Tobey, always getting pushed around by everyone all the time. I think it would've been interesting to do the party scenes with the music they actually would've listened to at the time. The rap music worked to get a "party" feel going, and it never felt out of place like it did in The Man with the Iron Fists (maybe RZA could take a note from Gatsby, or maybe rap music just fits partying better than martial arts), but it did feel like the only modern thing in the movie.