The Hitman’s Bodyguard

The Hitman's Bodyguard, which it was not my choice to watch, brings nothing new to the genre and isn't worth watching.

I didn't have any interest in seeing The Hitman's Bodyguard. It definitely doesn't bring anything new to the "straight-laced guy gets teamed up with a crazy partner" genre. Samuel L. Jackson was good, I guess. They milked the whole "people like to hear him saying motherfucker" thing too hard, though. It wasn't done well. 

I think I'm officially tired of Ryan Reynolds playing Ryan Reynolds. Somebody let me know when he starts doing a different character. The chase scene in the Netherlands was cool, at least. I don't remember ever seeing one there before.

It had a few funny moments, but it's not worth watching unless you have some sort of niche interest in it. Although I did love the scene where Ryan was talking to the bartender, and pandemonium was breaking out behind him.

The Hateful Eight

The Hateful Eight has some interesting characters and scenes, but it's not exactly iconic.

I wasn't interested in The Hateful Eight from the trailer,  and the reviews didn't make it sound like something worth watching. I've never been a fan of Tarantino's dialogue, but it actually wasn't so bad this time. The characters were pretty interesting. I sort of missed about 10 minutes when they first got to the Haberdashery, but it probably wasn't important.

Not just for that reason, but it's one of the few movies I think I'd like to watch again, knowing all the secrets now. Bob's accent was weird. I didn't really buy him as Mexican. The British guy brought a lot of life to things. Domergue was intriguing, too. And you can't go wrong with Walter Goggins.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Kingsman: The Secret Service looks good, aside from the weird jumpy camera style they went with for a few of the fight scenes. There are some interesting ideas, but Eggsy's protégé character is totally one-note, and I would've liked it better if it had less immature violence and more parkour. 

I don't have many thoughts on Kingsman: The Secret Service that don't involve spoilers. It had just the right amount of "gadgets" to keep things interesting without being gimmicky. I was disappointed the parkour scene wasn't longer; they should've done more of that. And I hated the weird jumpy camera style of the fight scenes.

Iron Man 2

Stark's complete and utter lack of likeability rendered this movie pointless.

Unbreakable

Making a feature out of the first act of a movie was a terrible idea. It doesn't work.

1408

Cusack is fun, but the surfing thing was really stupid (and not in the short story).

Black Snake Moan

Christina Ricci half-naked with a chain around her waist. What more does anyone need in a movie?