Assassin's Creed

I wound up not 100% paying attention to Assassin’s Creed, but the general feeling I got was that it’s not that good. It’s a little hollow, and there are some weird plot and editing choices. It does look pretty good, though.

I’m kind of fond of the Assassin’s Creed games, even though I’ve never played them. But I’ve seen them played through at least partially and they look cool. And I like Michael Fassbender, so I wanted to see this even though the reviews weren’t good. I wound up not really being able to pay attention to it, but I think I can tell it wasn’t good enough to be worth watching again.

It did look cool, for the most part. Not cool enough that I regret not seeing it in the theater, though. I liked the character design for the past. The clothes and tattoos were cool. They did seem to be doing a lot of superhuman stuff for no reason. I was like wow, people’s abilities were a lot different in the past. I kind of missed what they were talking about with how the assassins first got created. That might have been interesting to know.

X-Men: Apocalypse

There's not much to say about X-Men: Apocalypse other than if you like the X-Men, you'll probably like it. The action looks cool, the plot is interesting (albeit simple), and you get to see more characters in their younger iterations.

I begin this post about X-Men: Apocalypse with the disclaimer that I've never seen an X-Men movie I didn't like – although that could be because I've strategically avoided X2 and X3. And I knew I didn't want to see The Wolverine. And it's not even listed as an X-Men movie, so I'm not counting it (I didn't like it. But I did like X-Men Origins: Wolverine, unlike everyone else). I watched and liked the animated series, and the X-Men are definitely my favorite superheroes.

Apocalypse got a lot of bad reviews. It seemed like no one really liked it. I liked it. I didn't think it had too many characters or anything. A lot of them were people we already knew. I can't stand Sansa as Jean, though. I just don't like that actress. Then again, I felt the same way about Jennifer Lawrence, and I'm getting more used to her in the role now I guess.

X-Men: First Class

The main plot of X-Men: First Class comes off as extraneous, but the movie is still an entertaining look into the characters' backgrounds. Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy do a great job portraying the origins of Charles and Erik's relationship, and Kevin Bacon hits the right notes as the villain. 

I don't know why I wasn't interested in First Class when it first came out; maybe because I didn't know any of the actors at the time. Now James McAvoy is one of my favorites, and I like Nicholas Hoult from Warm Bodies. I wasn't really on the Michael Fassbender boat before I saw First Class, but now I think he's good. I was a little confused about the casting of Kevin Bacon for the villain, but he did a good job with it. His nose was insanely distracting, though. I guess it's always been like that and I just haven't seen him in a lot of movies. Maybe they could've shot from a more flattering angle. Or maybe it didn't bother anyone else.

I always thought of the title "First Class" as like "elite fighters for the government" or something, and I don't think I realized until I saw the movie that it meant "the first class that Professor X trains." I still don't like Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique; or I don't like the way they're styling this version of her, or both. The suit is just unattractive, and the hair looks so fake. What they did with Rebecca was so much better. And I'd love for them to spring on some CGI or something to soften the look of the greasepaint. My #1 X-Men pet peeve, greasepaint; especially glaring for Azazel this time.

X-Men: Days of Future Past

X-Men: Days of Future Past is a nice addition to the series. The themes are consistent, the characters are interesting, and there's some cool stuff going on. Considering all the material they have, it seems like they could keep doing episodes like this forever. 

My X-Men exposition feels a little familiar since I just talked about it for the last Wolverine movie, but I'll say it again. I've never read the comics, but I liked the X-Men: Evolution animated series, and the first X-Men movie; I skipped the second one and First Class. I love James McAvoy, so that's pretty much all I needed to be interested in this one. The 70s kitsch might have seemed novel, too, but in practice it wasn't actually very interesting.

Mystique really bugged me. I don’t like Jennifer Lawrence, and I don't get why Mystique has to be naked all the time. It just looks weird. I don't remember how Mystique looked in X-Men, but in this one it really seemed like Jennifer was just wearing a nylon suit. Her hands were so obviously painted, it just didn't work; it made all the wrinkles in her hands stand out so much. I didn't like her hair, either. I don't like seeing her feet, and her body looks bizarre. It seems like she wears clothes a lot in the comics, so I don't see why they couldn't have put some clothes on her.

I have a problem recognizing Michael Fassbender, too. I feel like I just haven't seen him in anything. I kept thinking, "Am I supposed to know who that actor is? I know it's not Jude Law." And that was about as far as I could get with it. 

I loved the opening sequence. It brought you right into what's so cool about the X-Men; all the mutants' powers are so unique, and they can all do such cool things. I wasn't familiar with any of the characters, but I liked Blink's look. She had a lot of cool stuff going on. I wish they could've just stopped and shown us what she looked like. I don't think I like Ellen Paige as Kitty, but I never seem to like Ellen Paige in much of anything.

The Counselor

The Counselor looks good and the soundtrack is cool, but that's not enough of a reason to watch it. The plot is laid out poorly, and the dialogue is pretentious and out of place. Whatever they were going for didn't work. 

It's been two months since I've seen a movie. So much for my "one movie a week" plan. The Counselor was a really disappointing return to movies. I didn't get a clear idea from the trailer what the movie was even about, but it looked slick. Roeper really steered me wrong on it - I can't believe he gave it an A+! I should've checked it out on IMDb; they're closer to the mark with a rating of 5.5. The actual movie was a lot like the trailer. I had no idea what was going on a lot of the time, and some things still weren't clear by the end.

Jonah Hex

Inglourious Basterds

300

Only good for the memes.