Cockneys vs. Zombies

Cockneys vs. Zombies was a cool idea, but the execution was atrocious. Nearly everything the characters did was illogical to the point of being obnoxious. I did like some of the characters, and it was funny at times, but you're better off just watching the trailer and pretending you've seen the movie. 

Cockneys vs. Zombies had a great trailer, so I was immediately interested. Roeper didn't review it, so I didn't have any help there. Reviews on IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes were mixed. I felt like it was one of those movies where you would like it if you were predisposed to, so I kept it on my list.

That was a big mistake. This movie was terrible. The idea was cool - tough old people fighting zombies. But the execution was rough. It felt like some college kids got together and made a movie. The production value was just nonexistent. The zombies didn't look dead. They moved so slowly, I don't see how they could be a threat to anyone.

I haven't seen the classic zombie movies, but I think that's what they were going for with these zombies and effects; that and, they clearly had no money with which to make the movie. The effects were super fake and super gory at the same time. They were pretty gross. Even though the zombies were slow, I did still find them scary, but I'm easy to scare.

Kiss of the Damned

Kiss of the Damned has great cinematography and music, but the writing and acting really bring it down. 

When I saw the trailer for this movie, I loved the music, and I like Milo from Gilmore Girls, so I was pretty much hooked. Roeper didn't review it, but at least one person on IMDb said it wasn't terrible, so I watched it. It turned out to be pretty interesting. The best part about it is the music. It's really good. All the songs fit the scenes perfectly, and the parts of it that are original score are amazing.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

The plot was a little empty, but I tend to enjoy fairy tale movies, and this one was creative enough to be entertaining.

I wasn't expecting much from Hansel & Gretel. Roeper didn't review it. IMDb said it was okay, albeit gory, so I decided I didn't need to see it in the theater. The acting wasn't bad. I haven't been a fan of Jeremy Renner yet, and I've never heard of Gemma Arterton before, although apparently she was in Prince of Persia. It was cool seeing Peter Stormare as the sheriff, though.

I liked how the language was modern. They got to use a lot of curse words since it was rated R, and that worked well. 

The Man with the Iron Fists

The Man with the Iron Fists has some cool stuff going on. Some of the acting is a little flat, but it's entertaining and it looks great.

It's nice that RZA got to make a movie. The Man with the Iron Fists is listed as a movie "by RZA," and that couldn't be any more true. He directed it, starred in it, and wrote the story, screenplay, and music. Crazy. It's a pretty epic movie. I'm not a classic martial arts movie fan, so it's hard to tell what's an homage and what's just not well done.

The costumes and props seemed a little cheap at times. They shot the movie in 52 days, so I guess it's reasonable to think they didn't have a lot of time for the other stuff, either. I could never get over the Lions' hair, but we'll assume that was on purpose. I think Dave Bautista is just the worst actor on the planet. I don't think there's any "homage" justification that can be made for his lack of performance. I liked the idea of this big guy who's just a total stone block, though.

Zombieland

Planet Terror

It wasn't as bad as I was expecting. The gore was all cheesy, so it wasn't too disgusting. I just don't think I can appreciate this kind of movie. I always like Freddy though, and Rose was pretty. I liked the ending, too.

Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky

Somehow I think the manga must've been better. This was probably the goriest movie I've ever seen, and besides that, it was pretty dopey, but it did have a couple of worthwhile moments. The only plot argument I have is that although he's fighting against corrupt jailers, he's also fighting to free legitimate criminals who actually belong in jail, which is a little weird.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Bah. All of the songs were abominable, and they spent way too much time singing them. I feel like there were 30 minutes of story, and another 90 of pointless singing.

I do love Burton's style, but most of it was almost too dark here. The actors were excellent and I suppose the ending wasn't too bad.

The Matrix Revolutions

This redeemed the series for me. I like how they spent more time in the real world than in the matrix, and it was more gruesome than I was expecting.

30 Days of Night

There can't be much story here and I didn't like Josh's performance, but other than that this movie definitely delivers, especially in the gruesome department.