Syrup jumps around from event to event without any logical
transitions or foundation. It's supposed to be slick and cool, but it's just
transparent and hollow. There are a handful of funny moments, but they don't even come close to justifying watching the worst movie I've seen all year.
Syrup was copyrighted 2011, but it wasn't released until
2013. I wonder if it got hung up somewhere, or if that's just how long it takes
for a movie to come out after it's been shot. I'm betting it was the former.
This looked cool from the trailer, so I wanted to see it. IMDb and Rotten
Tomatoes said it was a waste of time, but I was tired of not getting to see any
movies because they all had bad reviews, so I watched it anyway. It turns out
the reviewers were right: this is the worst movie I've seen all year!
It was so terrible, the entire time I was watching it I
just kept thinking, "This is the worst movie ever made!" The flow was
absolutely horrible. They would go from snippy and snarky to something that was
supposed to be meaningful and emotional without setting it up at all. The music
was terrible. It would be silent, and then a cue would come in out of nowhere
trying to force you to feel something, and it was just obtrusive.
Everything was totally empty. The voiceovers with
"marketing 101" and whatever didn't work at all. Anytime someone
broke the fourth wall and talked directly to the camera it felt super awkward
and out of place. 6 was awkward, too. Nothing she did ever made sense. It was
bizarre how everyone picked a new name. 3, 6, Sneaky Pete, Scat. I don't think
real marketing executives do that. And who the heck would pick "Scat"
for a name, anyway? He said it was referencing jazz, and okay, that's great,
but do you not know what else it means?!
The guys at the competing soda company were so dumb. It's
like they were trying to have a realistic movie, and then they put those guys in,
and it didn't make any sense. Amber Heard's face bugged me. There's something
off about her left eye, and I didn't like all that dark lipstick. Her spiel
about what men expect out of women didn't work. None of her dialogue worked; it
was just bizarre. She did look gorgeous in a couple of scenes in her apartment,
though.
