The Hitman’s Bodyguard

The Hitman's Bodyguard, which it was not my choice to watch, brings nothing new to the genre and isn't worth watching.

I didn't have any interest in seeing The Hitman's Bodyguard. It definitely doesn't bring anything new to the "straight-laced guy gets teamed up with a crazy partner" genre. Samuel L. Jackson was good, I guess. They milked the whole "people like to hear him saying motherfucker" thing too hard, though. It wasn't done well. 

I think I'm officially tired of Ryan Reynolds playing Ryan Reynolds. Somebody let me know when he starts doing a different character. The chase scene in the Netherlands was cool, at least. I don't remember ever seeing one there before.

It had a few funny moments, but it's not worth watching unless you have some sort of niche interest in it. Although I did love the scene where Ryan was talking to the bartender, and pandemonium was breaking out behind him.

Storks

Storks is mostly insipid and pointless, but it does have a few funny moments.

I had zero interest in seeing Storks. The trailer made it look like Tulip was really annoying. And it turns out, she was. The whole premise of the movie is silly. And it’s just kind of dumb in general. Although for some reason I thought Pigeon Toady was basically the funniest thing ever. Brah. And I just got the joke of his name now that I see how it’s spelled. That makes so much sense.

A Coffee in Berlin

Niko's interactions with the people he meets in A Coffee in Berlin are interesting, but the unsatisfying ending left me feeling like there wasn't any point in watching it.
The trailer for A Coffee in Berlin looked interesting, and it has a 7.5 on IMDb, which is pretty good. I couldn't remember what it was about anymore by the time I saw it. I like it better that way, though. The trailers always give too much away. I was immediately put off by the "upbeat jazz" soundtrack. It's the kind of music that causes me to completely write off any movie that uses it in the trailer. It makes me feel like the movie isn't going to have any substance. In this case, it took any depth and sincerity out of the movie, and made it feel like I didn't really have to experience what was happening.

World War Z

The zombies in World War Z are effectively disturbing, but there's really no reason to watch it.

World War Z is another movie that I didn't want to see. The little ant-people in the trailer didn't make it look interesting, and neither did anything else. Roeper said it was "entertaining as hell," though, so I figured I might as well see what it was all about. It turns out my initial reaction was accurate. There isn't really any reason to see this movie, unless you just have an interest in watching Brad Pitt fight zombies.

Brad does a fine job with the character, but it's still not very believable. The guy is just too perfect. He's always calm, always joking; it doesn't work. The zombies were effectively creepy. Even if the CG did look bizarre, it was still scary seeing a crowd of zombies coming at you like that, and the speed with which they were able to turn an entire city was impressive.

The Wolverine

The Wolverine looked good, but there was a lot of nonsensical stuff going on, and there wasn't enough substance to justify a movie.

I didn't have any interest in seeing The Wolverine. Roeper said it was good, but the trailer just didn't sell it. Okay, Wolverine loses his healing power, and he has to get it back. And then he gets it back, I'm sure. Great. What's the point of the movie, exactly? Turns out there wasn't one, because that's all there was. It looked good, and I like Wolverine just fine, but there wasn't really any reason to make this movie. It came across as just a thing Wolverine did one time, without there really being any meaning to it. I guess it would've worked fine as a comic story arc, or a TV episode or something, but there has to be something more for it to work as a movie.

Sex and the City 2

2 Fast 2 Furious

Complete waste of a movie. Why make this? Eva Mendes wasn't hot, and the dynamic between Tyrese and Paul was terrible.

The Scorpion King

Terrible. Why would anyone make or watch this?

Very Bad Things

Very bad movie.