Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald is a fully "okay" movie. I still like the magic and the creatures. It raises some questions about characters I previously thought of as "good," like Dumbledore and Queenie. I'm interested to see where they go with the rest of the series.

I had a lot of problems seeing Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald. I wanted to see it in a theater on my birthday. It was only playing into theaters by then, one in Shoreline, and one in Tacoma. The one in Shoreline only had one showing a day. I don't see movies in theaters very often (in fact, it's about once a year, on my birthday). I didn't realize that a lot of the theaters have switched over to having you pick your seat when you buy the ticket.

I didn't get to the theater until about five minutes before the movie started. The only tickets that were left were in the front row. I tried it out, but it was impossible to see anything. I should have just seen a different movie, but I wound up not seeing anything at all, which really sucked.

I wound up waiting until Grindelwald came to the $4 theater to try again. I normally sit in the back row of the theater, but the screen at the Crest was so small that I wanted to sit in the middle. I ended up not being able to do that, even though there were open seats where I wanted to be. So I had to sit all the way in the back. For about the first third of the movie, I felt like I couldn't even see it, and I kept missing a bunch of dialogue because I couldn't hear it, either.

I read a review that said Newt's affect gets really annoying. Maybe my perception was just colored by that, but I definitely agreed. Like, just stand up straight at least.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

I've liked all of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, and Dead Men Tell No Tales is no different. It's not going to win an Oscar or anything, but Javier is appropriately menacing, the plot holds things together well enough, and overall it's fun and familiar.

I like the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. I used to like Johnny Depp, but that's getting more difficult with all the "personal life" stuff that's been happening with him recently. I like the tone of the movies, though. And they're so familiar, with the music and everything. I like the "pirate adventure" angle, and seeing Jack running around doing crazy stuff.

The witch was super weird. I couldn't get behind her at all, or figure out if we were supposed to remember her from one of the other movies. They kind of overdid it with the makeup on the pirates. They all looked like they had some hardcore sun damage going on, and I felt like it wasn't necessary.

Alice Through the Looking Glass

Alice Through the Looking Glass was cool to see in the theater, but I wouldn’t recommend it outside of that. It could’ve been a lot better. Aesthetically it alternates between gorgeous and freakish; the plot’s largely contradictory and uncompelling; the dialgoue is trite; and Mia doesn’t quite have the presence to pull off the Alice they’re trying to portray.

Roeper warned me that Alice Through the Looking Glass wasn’t going to be any good, but I didn’t listen. It looked pretty, so I wanted to see it. It was pretty. Although the Hatter and the Red Queen looked really freaky and screwed with the aesthetic appeal for a lot of the movie. Alice’s outfits were really cool, though. I loved that crazy thing that she wore to the ball.

The Lone Ranger

I don't know why The Lone Ranger got such bad reviews. It's a fun Disney movie with action, comedy, villains, likeable characters, and great cinematography.
 

The Lone Ranger got some pretty bad reviews, but it still looked like it might be fun. I don't really know anything about the TV series, so I went into it with a completely blank slate on that front; no expectations, and nothing for the movie to live/match up to. I was skeptical about Johnny Depp playing a Native American, and I was right to be; it wasn't so much like watching "Tonto" as it was just watching "Johnny Depp in makeup," but that's okay. I enjoyed his performance anyway.

I really liked what Armie Hammer did with the character of The Lone Ranger. He was pretty endearing. I liked how he always wanted to do the right thing, but he was naïve and kind of bumbling. He just seemed like a good guy, totally out of his element.

It kind of came across as a kids' movie, but then there was a lot of drinking and prostitutes and eating people going on, so it was weird in that respect. It was Disney, after all. I don't think Helena's character Red really needed to be in it. She didn't do much. And Helena's starting to look old. 

William Fichtner gave the performance of his life as Cavendish, or maybe the character design people just did an awesome job. He was barely recognizable; I didn't even know it was him until halfway through the movie. That lip problem he had going on was really disturbing. All the rangers were so dirty, too. That was weird.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Not exactly an epic, but it's a decent movie if you're into the series.

Alice in Wonderland

I liked the characters, the take on the world, the story, and the actors. I approve.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Bah. All of the songs were abominable, and they spent way too much time singing them. I feel like there were 30 minutes of story, and another 90 of pointless singing.

I do love Burton's style, but most of it was almost too dark here. The actors were excellent and I suppose the ending wasn't too bad.

Dead Man