Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

I've liked all of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, and Dead Men Tell No Tales is no different. It's not going to win an Oscar or anything, but Javier is appropriately menacing, the plot holds things together well enough, and overall it's fun and familiar.

I like the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. I used to like Johnny Depp, but that's getting more difficult with all the "personal life" stuff that's been happening with him recently. I like the tone of the movies, though. And they're so familiar, with the music and everything. I like the "pirate adventure" angle, and seeing Jack running around doing crazy stuff.

The witch was super weird. I couldn't get behind her at all, or figure out if we were supposed to remember her from one of the other movies. They kind of overdid it with the makeup on the pirates. They all looked like they had some hardcore sun damage going on, and I felt like it wasn't necessary.

The flashback scene with Jack and Salazar was super weird. Jack didn't just look younger, he looked tiny. Maybe he was supposed to be so young that he hadn't reached his full height yet, and he was supposed to be small like a sparrow.

 He didn't have any of his accessories yet, and I thought, that's cool, he hasn't gone on the adventures where he acquired them yet. So it was really disappointing when all the pirates just handed them to him all at once as tribute for saving them.

I guess that's where he got the "you should give me a tribute for everything" idea from. I don't remember that from before, so maybe it was just a theme for this movie to tie in with that scene. But I don't like it. It doesn't cast him in a good light that he keeps doing that. It was really funny when he pocketed the single coin that was left in the safe, though.

Salazar's line at the beginning where he said to tell Jack he was coming for him, and that he would do it himself but "dead men tell no tales" didn't work at all. "I'm coming for you" isn't really a tale, and even if it were, he just said it, so obviously he can say it. Henry was cute. Orlando isn't looking quite as good these days. It was cool to see him get to reunite with Elizabeth, though.

I feel like Jack didn't have that big of a role in this one. But really, nobody did. Everyone was kind of in it for equally small amounts of time. I had trouble hearing some of the lines. The scene where we first see Salazar is super creepy. I don't get what happened to them, though. I guess they were just so full of rage that they couldn't die?

The scene where the Black Pearl came back was funny, first when it was still small, and second when it just fell over sideways and sank. I really liked the pirate who got made captain when the British attacked.

I had trouble with the scene where the shark conveniently threw them onto land, but I guess you just have to go with it. I liked how Salazar pronounced Jack's name as "spah-row" instead of just "spay-row."