The Counselor

The Counselor looks good and the soundtrack is cool, but that's not enough of a reason to watch it. The plot is laid out poorly, and the dialogue is pretentious and out of place. Whatever they were going for didn't work. 

It's been two months since I've seen a movie. So much for my "one movie a week" plan. The Counselor was a really disappointing return to movies. I didn't get a clear idea from the trailer what the movie was even about, but it looked slick. Roeper really steered me wrong on it - I can't believe he gave it an A+! I should've checked it out on IMDb; they're closer to the mark with a rating of 5.5. The actual movie was a lot like the trailer. I had no idea what was going on a lot of the time, and some things still weren't clear by the end.

I don't even know what part anyone had in the drug deal. The cartel was moving some drugs from Mexico to Chicago. What did Javier have to do with it, or Brad, or The Counselor? And why did Brad have to keep saying "Counselor" every other word? It was super annoying. And his hair looked terrible. I'm glad he's finally cut it now. It's getting hard for me to accept Brad Pitt as characters anymore. I just see Brad Pitt the actor now.

I couldn't figure out what people were saying half the time. Javier's accent was cool, but tough to understand. And even when I could hear what they were saying, it still didn't even make any sense. What was all that business about the "cautionary diamond?" I have no idea what it meant at all.

The whole movie was just dialogue as a set piece. Long conversation, quick scene of something happening, long conversation, etc. for the entire first half. So boring, nothing ever went anywhere. And the dialogue wasn't even good. It was just pretentious. The worst was Cameron's monologue at the end. I couldn't even focus on what she was saying because her delivery was so bad. She doesn't have the acting chops to pull off that role. Natalie Dormer would've done a better job with it.

The Counselor was stupid to get in on that job, anyway. Everyone told him not to do it. You could tell Javier wasn't playing with a full deck of cards. How did he even make so much money or live that long? He wasn't smart about the way he did anything. I hated that they brought back the bolito to kill Brad, too. It was a cool thing, but I don't think we needed an explanation of how it worked before we saw it. You could tell it was a metaphor for the whole situation as soon as Javier talked about it, though - a noose that just tightens, it plays out until you're dead, and there's no way to stop it.

I didn't like the opening scene with The Counselor and Penelope in bed. It seemed awkward. I don't know if she was into him talking to her like that, but I wouldn't be. I couldn't figure out if the people who were supposed to have the drugs, the original cartel, got them back. I think they did. They should've just been like "we got our drugs back, everything is forgiven." Maybe they were like that. Maybe they did just want to talk to Javier. They didn’t take out Brad. And maybe it was Rosie's people who killed Penelope.

I liked all the Spanish in the movie. I could understand what they were saying. The cheetahs were cool. When Cameron's accountant asked about "the cats" and she said the female one was dead and the male one was still alive, I thought maybe she was talking about The Counselor and his fiancé. Who he kept referring to as his wife, which was confusing. I think Natalie should've taken the money. Brad would've gotten killed whether she helped or not. They would've just gotten someone else to do her job.

The movie did look good. That was about all it had going for it. It was a real downer the way they decided to end it. It was one of those were you go, "Seriously, that's it? That's the end of the movie?" The Counselor seemed pretty down and out, but I think he'll get over it. You can always marry again. And hopefully he learned his lesson about getting involved with his clients. I don't know what's going to keep the cartel or Rosie's people from coming after him again, though.

The whole thing was pretty misogynistic. Someone could have a field day writing a paper about all the examples, especially the stuff Javier said. I liked his performance as a whole, but it was a really weird character. He had this bizarre affect to the way that he said things that just didn't ring true. I don't know if it was written that way, or if that was something he threw in. The soundtrack was good, though. I caught some Benny Benassi in there. I always like when someone uses that.