The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

I really enjoyed The Mortal Instruments, but that might just be because I like Jonathan Rhys Meyers, the male lead looked cool, and I love fantasy worlds. There are a lot of things I wish they had gone into more detail about, it does drag at the beginning, and I can't argue with the "lame teeny-bopper love story" criticism.

I was beginning to think there were no more good movies out there, after my recent string of terrible movies. I took a gamble on Syrup even though the reviews were terrible, and it didn't pay off. The reviews for The Mortal Instruments were about the same, so I was hesitant about it. Then I found out Jonathan Rhys Meyers was in it, and I figured I'd probably like it no matter how bad it was. It turns out he's not even there for the first hour and a half of the movie, but luckily I still liked it, anyway.

I love different mythologies people create, and learning about how different versions of the world operate. I like finding out people's interpretations of standard creatures; vampires, werewolves, zombies, whatever.

At first I was put off by Clary's ridiculous eyebrows. They're so thick and dark, and they don't match her hair at all. I guess that's supposed to be her natural color, since her hair's the same color in flashbacks to when she was a kid, and her mom sort of has the same hair color, too. But the eyebrows don't match! Clary is a weird name, too. I'm not a fan of it at all.

Then I was put off by Lena Headey being in it. Apparently I've seen her in a few movies, but she wasn't a recognizable actress for me until Game of Thrones, so now she's just always Cersei, and I don't like her.

Syrup

 Syrup jumps around from event to event without any logical transitions or foundation. It's supposed to be slick and cool, but it's just transparent and hollow. There are a handful of funny moments, but they don't even come close to justifying watching the worst movie I've seen all year.

Syrup was copyrighted 2011, but it wasn't released until 2013. I wonder if it got hung up somewhere, or if that's just how long it takes for a movie to come out after it's been shot. I'm betting it was the former. This looked cool from the trailer, so I wanted to see it. IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes said it was a waste of time, but I was tired of not getting to see any movies because they all had bad reviews, so I watched it anyway. It turns out the reviewers were right: this is the worst movie I've seen all year!

It was so terrible, the entire time I was watching it I just kept thinking, "This is the worst movie ever made!" The flow was absolutely horrible. They would go from snippy and snarky to something that was supposed to be meaningful and emotional without setting it up at all. The music was terrible. It would be silent, and then a cue would come in out of nowhere trying to force you to feel something, and it was just obtrusive.

Everything was totally empty. The voiceovers with "marketing 101" and whatever didn't work at all. Anytime someone broke the fourth wall and talked directly to the camera it felt super awkward and out of place. 6 was awkward, too. Nothing she did ever made sense. It was bizarre how everyone picked a new name. 3, 6, Sneaky Pete, Scat. I don't think real marketing executives do that. And who the heck would pick "Scat" for a name, anyway? He said it was referencing jazz, and okay, that's great, but do you not know what else it means?!

The guys at the competing soda company were so dumb. It's like they were trying to have a realistic movie, and then they put those guys in, and it didn't make any sense. Amber Heard's face bugged me. There's something off about her left eye, and I didn't like all that dark lipstick. Her spiel about what men expect out of women didn't work. None of her dialogue worked; it was just bizarre. She did look gorgeous in a couple of scenes in her apartment, though.

Hara-Kiri: Death of a Samurai

Miike's Hara-Kiri is beautifully directed, but it's also depressing, boring in parts, and not terribly original. 

I'm having a problem finding movies I'm interested in. I was watching the trailer for Blitz seeing if I could get into it enough to watch it, and I felt like I wanted to see something with swords. I had Hara-Kiri on my list of movies to watch, so I watched the trailer for that. I wasn't exactly sold, but I decided to go with it anyway. I wanted something with a little substance, even if I was running the risk of being bored.

Apparently, according to IMDb, the original was better. I didn't even know there was an original. I found out about the remake when I was looking through Ignatiy Vishnevetsky's reviews. He liked it, and I've always been interested in Miike's stuff. 13 Assassins was good, although everything before that was pretty crazy. I can't even believe I watched that stuff anymore. Supposedly the original draws you in more, and there's more dialogue between the father and the clan guy.

That would've been good, because my suspicions were right: I got bored, especially in the middle. I really lost interested when they took the focus away from the present-day stuff and started talking about how Hanshirô knew Motome. The cinematography was great, though. I loved the camerawork and the sets. It really was beautifully directed. I don't know why Miike shot it in 3D. That probably didn't add much, although it would've been a good effect with the falling snow. 

I liked the slow, deliberate pacing of the camera and people's movements, and the fact that we saw what happened to Motome and then afterward learned why it happened made it more interesting.

Let My People Go!

Let My People Go! is a really weird French farce. I don't regret seeing it, but I wouldn't exactly recommend it, either. It has its funny moments, but the main character can be tough to watch.

This looked interesting from the trailer, and at least the person whose IMDb review was on top liked it, so that was enough for me. I liked the idea of Finland and France and a Jewish family and it all seemed very confusing and bizarre, and it was. Bizarre anyway, not so much confusing. It was tough to get a handle on the context. All the houses in Finland were so bright; was it exaggerated to make a point, or is that just normal? Everything in Ruben's house was so old. Was that supposed to say something about his parents, or is that just how it is in France?

I'm glad they didn't do the whole movie in Finnish; I didn't like that very much. I didn't like the French much better. It was kind of distracting because I kept getting caught up on words I could recognize. One time I even figured out a whole sentence. I think it was "how are things with Teemu." Not exactly a monumental achievement, but still.

In Time

In Time's concept and world are cool, but they're wasted on a lackluster plot and Justin Timberlake's bad acting.

I was interested in this movie when it came out, and I remembered it had gotten semi-favorable buzz. I couldn't think of anything else I wanted to see this weekend. I think it would've been a better movie without Justin Timberlake. I looked over Ebert's review after I watched it, and he thought Justin was great, but I'm not with him on that. His acting was terrible; it pulled me out of the movie practically every time he said something.

It's totally engaging just because of the concept, but plot is a letdown. They could've done a lot more with it. It was cool seeing people like Pete from Mad Men, Cillian Murphy, and Matt Bomer. They all really helped carry the movie. There shouldn't have been so many "time" puns. It got ridiculous.

In the House

In the House was appropriately tense, and it had some interesting moments, but it all fell apart at the end and rendered the entire movie pointless.

It's been five months since I saw a movie I disliked as much as In the House, so I guess that's a good thing. I was interested in it based on the trailer, and I forgot to check and see if it was any good or not before I decided to watch it, but I probably would've watched it even if I had done my research. It's tough to watch movies in a foreign language. You have to read the whole time, and you miss out on getting to watch what's going on. French is cool, though. I didn't used to like it, but it's starting to grow on me.

World War Z

The zombies in World War Z are effectively disturbing, but there's really no reason to watch it.

World War Z is another movie that I didn't want to see. The little ant-people in the trailer didn't make it look interesting, and neither did anything else. Roeper said it was "entertaining as hell," though, so I figured I might as well see what it was all about. It turns out my initial reaction was accurate. There isn't really any reason to see this movie, unless you just have an interest in watching Brad Pitt fight zombies.

Brad does a fine job with the character, but it's still not very believable. The guy is just too perfect. He's always calm, always joking; it doesn't work. The zombies were effectively creepy. Even if the CG did look bizarre, it was still scary seeing a crowd of zombies coming at you like that, and the speed with which they were able to turn an entire city was impressive.

The Berlin File

 If you know Korean, you should definitely watch The Berlin File. Otherwise, it's probably going to be confusing. I didn't know what was going on at least half the time, but there was some cool action/spy stuff, and the plot reveal was satisfying. 

I was interested in The Berlin File after I saw the trailer for it, but Roeper never reviewed it, so I had to rely on IMDb. It was rated 6.6, so that was inconclusive, but the top reviewer liked it, so that was good enough for me. It turned out to be insanely confusing. I think you have to watch it twice if you don't speak Korean. They showed text with people's names/professions when we first saw them at the beginning, but it didn't help at all; there wasn't time to commit any part of that to memory, and then I spent the entire rest of the movie just trying to figure out who was who/what was going on.

That made it more satisfying when it was all revealed at the end, though. Every bit of information I managed to figure out was a triumph. It didn't help that there were North Koreans and South Koreans that were all Korean. At least Myeong-soo Dong was wearing a hat for a while so I could get a handle on who he was.

The Heat

There were a couple scenes in The Heat that weren't funny, and Sandra Bullock's face is a disaster, but Melissa McCarthy carried the movie and kept me laughing entire way through. 

I thought the trailer for The Heat was funny enough, but I figured the movie would be pretty dopey, and I wasn't interested in seeing it. Everybody seemed to like it after it came out, though, and Roeper gave it a good review, so I didn't want to miss out. I'm definitely glad I saw it. It was just as funny as the trailer, and unlike so many movies, it didn't have all the good jokes in the trailer. There were tons of good jokes for the whole movie, not just the three or four you see in the trailer. And the director says in the commentary that he likes to put alternate stuff in the trailer so there's new stuff to see when you watch the movie, so there you go.

The first thing I noticed in the movie was that Sandra Bullock looks terrible. It's like she went to her plastic surgeon and said "give me the Michael Jackson." I'm so glad I didn't see this in the theater. It would've been like Sylvester Stallone in The Expendables all over again. Blech. I can kind of relate to Ashburn, though.

The Place Beyond the Pines

I didn't understand the characters' motivations for a lot of The Place Beyond the Pines, but the cinematography was nice, the music worked, and I really liked the triptych format and being able to find out what happened sort of "after" the movie.

I liked the way this movie looked. It was kind of old-school/gritty, but it was really well-shot. The music was interesting, and I liked the format of the movie, how it started out with Luke's story, and then the "passing of the baton," as the director put it, changing to Avery's story, and then AJ/Jason's. I liked that we got to see what happened with their kids, kind of what happens "after" the movie. That's one of the main reasons I was interested in seeing it.

The Wolverine

The Wolverine looked good, but there was a lot of nonsensical stuff going on, and there wasn't enough substance to justify a movie.

I didn't have any interest in seeing The Wolverine. Roeper said it was good, but the trailer just didn't sell it. Okay, Wolverine loses his healing power, and he has to get it back. And then he gets it back, I'm sure. Great. What's the point of the movie, exactly? Turns out there wasn't one, because that's all there was. It looked good, and I like Wolverine just fine, but there wasn't really any reason to make this movie. It came across as just a thing Wolverine did one time, without there really being any meaning to it. I guess it would've worked fine as a comic story arc, or a TV episode or something, but there has to be something more for it to work as a movie.

The Host

The Host had some good ideas, and it did hold my interest for the entire time, but the writing, score, and characters pretty much ruined it.

I probably wouldn't have rented this if I had known it was a Stephenie Meyer (author of Twilight) book. I didn't find out until I already had it, and by then I figured I might as well go through with it, anyway. Roeper didn't review it, and IMDb didn't really like it, but I was hoping maybe it would still be okay. It wasn't. The music was overbearing and melodramatic. It was too exaggerated for what was going on, and it really brought you out of the experience.

The Guard

Not everything they do in The Guard works, but it's still a funny movie, and Gleeson and Cheadle are fun to watch.

The first thing I noticed about The Guard was that I couldn't understand what they were saying, so I had to turn on the subtitles. They were definitely the worst subtitles I've ever seen. Super obtrusive, covered stuff up, and didn't even get all the dialogue. The movie was pretty funny, but a lot of things were kind of a swing and a miss for me.

Kiss of the Damned

Kiss of the Damned has great cinematography and music, but the writing and acting really bring it down. 

When I saw the trailer for this movie, I loved the music, and I like Milo from Gilmore Girls, so I was pretty much hooked. Roeper didn't review it, but at least one person on IMDb said it wasn't terrible, so I watched it. It turned out to be pretty interesting. The best part about it is the music. It's really good. All the songs fit the scenes perfectly, and the parts of it that are original score are amazing.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

Like all the HP movies, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is well done. It looks polished, the acting is good, and the story is creative. This one was definitely boring in places, but it kept me interested for the most part.

I like the Harry Potter movies. I've never read the books, and I don't really see any reason to, but I used to watch the movies when they hit a network TV channel for the first time. I think I even saw one of them in the theater. They're always well done; they look great, the acting is good, the story/things in it are creative. I totally screwed up the series for myself with this one, though. I knew I had seen HP 1-5, and I thought there were only 7 movies in the series. I thought Deathly Hallows 1 and 2 were movies 6 and 7. So, since I'd seen 1-5, I thought it was time for Deathly Hallows. How very wrong I was.

56 Up

56 Up was interesting, but I wouldn't try to watch it all in one sitting, and they should've delineated the classes more clearly.

For anyone who doesn't know, the premise of the "Up" documentaries is to take a bunch of people, and interview them/put out a documentary every 7 years, starting at age 7. Initially I think it was supposed to show contrast in socioeconomic status, and I think they should've stuck with that. My biggest problem with it was it didn't delineate clearly enough between the rich kids and the poor kids. I really had no idea who was who, with the exception of the one rich girl who never had to get a job.

Tai Chi Hero

Tai Chi Hero made no sense, and it wasn't as visually appealing or original as Tai Chi Zero. Maybe Tai Chi Summit will redeem the series.

I was expecting great things out of Tai Chi Hero. Tai Chi Zero set it up perfectly, and I thought Hero was going to be better than Zero, but it wasn't. It actually made Zero look like a five-star movie in comparison. Hero wasn't as visually appealing or as original as Zero. They took out a lot of the more annoying elements, which was good. But the plot was sparse and it didn't make sense.

Fast & Furious 6

Fast & Furious 6 is a fun movie. Some of the fights and cars are cool. It's really clunky at the beginning, though, and the dialogue pretty much always sucks.

I don't know why I keep watching these movies. I guess I just like the premise. Cool cars and Paul Walker, yay? Maybe it's just because I've seen all the others, so I feel compelled to keep up with them. I figured this would be a good one to see in the theater, and that decision was validated right with the opening scene, in beautiful somewhere-or-other Spain. I was also immediately glad I brought ear plugs, since loud engines are the first thing you hear. I was a little confused that the opening title was "Furious 6," but I see now that was the original name for the movie. They probably should've changed the opening title. Just an idea.

Tai Chi Zero

Tai Chi Zero really only exists to set up Tai Chi Hero. It looks amazing, but it's super cheesy.

I saw a trailer for Tai Chi Hero, and it looked cool, so I decided to check out the prequel before I saw it. I read on IMDb that Hero was better than Zero, so I wasn't expecting much. The whole kitschy/cheesy/video game feel was kind of obnoxious. It wasn't my thing. I didn't like the pop-ups about the style, or the diagrams that showed up under people's feet. And I especially didn't like the part where it would say "That's Angelababy as Chen Yu Niang! She's a famous actress!" It really took you out of the movie, and I don't know who those actors are, anyway.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

The plot was a little empty, but I tend to enjoy fairy tale movies, and this one was creative enough to be entertaining.

I wasn't expecting much from Hansel & Gretel. Roeper didn't review it. IMDb said it was okay, albeit gory, so I decided I didn't need to see it in the theater. The acting wasn't bad. I haven't been a fan of Jeremy Renner yet, and I've never heard of Gemma Arterton before, although apparently she was in Prince of Persia. It was cool seeing Peter Stormare as the sheriff, though.

I liked how the language was modern. They got to use a lot of curse words since it was rated R, and that worked well. 

The Great Gatsby

The Great Gatsby has a pretty uninspired plot, but the cinematography is great. It's a good way to find out what the story's all about, if you aren't familiar with it already.

I've never read The Great Gatsby, and I had no idea what it was about, so I was a blank slate coming into the movie. I was surprised by how long it took for Leo to make an appearance. I was like, "he is in this movie, right?" The opening parts with all the partying were kind of obnoxious and hard to follow. The camera was all over the place, and everything seemed a little shaky, a little off. Maybe that had to do with the 3D aspect (although I didn't watch it in 3D). Everything was kind of exaggerated and crazy, which was probably the effect they were going for, but I didn't exactly enjoy it.

I felt bad for Tobey, always getting pushed around by everyone all the time. I think it would've been interesting to do the party scenes with the music they actually would've listened to at the time. The rap music worked to get a "party" feel going, and it never felt out of place like it did in The Man with the Iron Fists (maybe RZA could take a note from Gatsby, or maybe rap music just fits partying better than martial arts), but it did feel like the only modern thing in the movie.

The Illusionist

The Illusionist's beautiful animation is captivating, but the story is really depressing.

Triplets of Belleville was a great movie. I loved the musicality of it, and how there was hardly any (no?) dialogue. The Illusionist is also beautifully animated. I love the small quirks of the animation, like how The Illusionist's hands move when he packs up his poster. I loved how crazy the rabbit was. But ultimately it's basically the saddest movie ever, and if I had known that going in, I probably wouldn't have watched it.

Death Race 3: Inferno

Death Race is a great movie. Death Race 3: Inferno is not. There were multiple times when I was watching this that I wished I hadn't wasted my time. The concept is still cool, and there are a few enjoyable moments and lines, but not nearly enough to make up for the painfully terrible acting.

Death Race, I wish I knew how to quit you. I thought I was going to get to see The Illusionist (animated one, not Edward Norton), but the library didn't have it in stock after all. I was frustrated enough about that to just watch Death Race 3 without doing any research on it. Death Race was a great movie, and all I remember about Death Race 2 was that it sucked. The trailer for Death Race 3 looked promising, so I gave it a shot.

That turned out to be a mistake. The acting was so bad it was downright painful to watch. The star, the navigator, the villain, practically every actor in the entire movie was terrible. Danny Trejo, Fred Koehler and Ving Rhames were fine, but that's about it. There were actually a few good lines, but most of the writing was terrible. The driver introductions were totally flat; no info about the driver at all, just a flashy picture with their name. They did have a couple interesting drivers; I actually felt sorry for all of them when they died, which wasn't a good direction to go.

I guess because Luke Goss sucked so much, I really didn't care about Frankenstein, and I wasn't interested in him beating the other drivers. So much of the movie made no sense. Why were the prisoners always allowed to tell all the guards to leave? Why was Katrina randomly washing the floor by Carl's cell?

What Dreams May Come

What Dreams May Come was a little heavy-handed, and I don't agree with all the things they changed from the book, but I did like seeing where they were going with it and how they represented things.

What Dreams May Come was on my "to see" list for a while, but then I kind of lost interest in it. My boyfriend had a copy of the book on the bookshelf, so I decided to check it out. It was an interesting book, and that renewed my interest in seeing the movie. I would say about 75% of the stuff in the movie wasn't in the book, and a lot of what was in the book probably got lost in translation if you only saw the movie. I think a lot of the themes were probably only hinted at in the movie; they came through for me since I had read the book, but if I hadn't, I probably wouldn't have seen them so clearly.

The Man with the Iron Fists

The Man with the Iron Fists has some cool stuff going on. Some of the acting is a little flat, but it's entertaining and it looks great.

It's nice that RZA got to make a movie. The Man with the Iron Fists is listed as a movie "by RZA," and that couldn't be any more true. He directed it, starred in it, and wrote the story, screenplay, and music. Crazy. It's a pretty epic movie. I'm not a classic martial arts movie fan, so it's hard to tell what's an homage and what's just not well done.

The costumes and props seemed a little cheap at times. They shot the movie in 52 days, so I guess it's reasonable to think they didn't have a lot of time for the other stuff, either. I could never get over the Lions' hair, but we'll assume that was on purpose. I think Dave Bautista is just the worst actor on the planet. I don't think there's any "homage" justification that can be made for his lack of performance. I liked the idea of this big guy who's just a total stone block, though.

Warm Bodies

Warm Bodies is a movie that suffered from the tragic "solid concept, shoddy execution." The idea was there, but it just wasn't fleshed out in the right way. Nothing seemed realistic, and it was a disappointment.

Warm Bodies is kind of bordering on a 2.5/3 rating. On the one hand, it's a really cool concept, and it finally gives an explanation for why zombies eat brains (I think Roeper said that actually, but it's probably what everyone will think whether they saw his review or not). On the other hand, it was basically adapted from a 7-page short story, and it felt like it. Sure, the author expanded it into a novelette, and then a screenwriter tried to condense that into a movie, but there were a lot of things that just didn't feel fully thought out.

Iron Man 3

Iron Man 3 definitely had its dumb moments, and Tony Stark's arrogance can be tough to watch, but Guy Pearce is great and it's a fun popcorn flick.

I finally saw a movie from 2013! I feel so cutting-edge. 

Tony Stark is a tough character to watch. He's really an ass a lot of the time. 

Argo

Argo has a few too many added Hollywood components and the best lines are given away in the trailer, but it's still engaging and interesting most of the time.

Argo is one of those movies where all the best lines are in the trailer. The rest of the movie is still interesting, but I wish they hadn't done that. I understand that you want to sell people on the movie, so you want to show them the best stuff, but it would be nice if they could leave some good stuff to be discovered when you watch the movie, too.

The camerawork was good, and there were a lot of good actors doing good work, like Bryan Cranston and John Goodman. I liked that it was a period piece.

Hope Springs

Hope Springs was an awkward, superficial, romanticized story of two tropes that most definitely was not worth watching.

I can sum up Hope Springs in one word: lemonparty. Ugh. Gross. No one wants to see that stuff. The whole thing was awkward, uncomfortable, boring, and unrealistic. Roeper gave this movie an A; I don't remember why. He really led me astray here, though. I hated Kay for being so submissive; I hated Arnold for being so mean and leaving therapy sessions all the time; and I hated both of them for not communicating, ever.

Fairhaven

Fairhaven wasn't a boring movie, per se, but it winds up going absolutely nowhere.

When I saw Fairhaven, it was time to watch a movie by myself again, and Netflix didn't have any of the movies I wanted to see. I decided to check Hulu and see if they had Silent Running, because I might not've looked for it there last time I was trying to find something to watch. The first screen I went to showed they had Fairhaven. I've wanted to see it for a while, so I was pretty excited about that. I thought I had the green light on it from Roeper, but it occurred to me as I started watching it that I might not've actually seen a review on it, which meant I was watching a movie based solely on the trailer.

This turned out to be a Very Bad Idea. Luckily, I probably would've been in front of the TV for about half the movie, anyway, so I really only lost 45 minutes of my life to it. There were some pretty landscape shots, at least.

Men in Black 3

MIB 3 was entertaining sort of from the perspective of "an episode of MIB," but they didn't have enough plot/ideas to stretch out for a full movie. Josh Brolin does do a great Tommy Lee Jones impression, though.

Someday I'll actually see a movie from 2013. I like MIB. Like every kid in the '90s, I liked the original. I even watched and liked the cartoon. I took a pass on MIB II, since it didn't look interesting and no one seemed to like it. Three got more favorable reviews (okay, Roeper liked it), and I like Josh Brolin, so I gave it a shot.

ETA: According to my records, I actually did see MIB II. I have absolutely no recollection of it, but there you are.

MIB 3 wasn't bad, I guess. It was what you would expect from an MIB movie. Will Smith did his usual Agent J. I did really like Brolin's Tommy Lee Jones impression. It was good. I didn't like Emma Thompson as Agent O. She just looked old. I didn't feel like there were enough interesting aliens. Some gross ones, but not interesting ones.

The Campaign

The best thing about The Campaign is that it's over before you know it. There are a lot of funny parts, but overall it's pretty weak. As a whole, it feels flat and empty

 I love this picture for The Campaign. It's better than the actual movie. I'm not sure what Roeper was thinking giving it an A-. I would've gone with a C-, if I did that sort of a scale. I think most movies that I give a 3 would at least be a B-. In fact, I don't give The Campaign a 3/5; I give it a 3-. A 2.8, maybe. It didn't suck, but some parts of it did. I didn't like it as much as Roeper did.

Will's starting to look old. 

Snow White and the Huntsman

Snow White and the Huntsman was captivating to watch just for the way it looked. The story wasn't brilliant and some of the acting sucked, but the visuals made it worth seeing.

I don't think The Huntsman actually had a big enough role to be in the title with Snow White. More aptly, it should've been "The Queen and Snow White." But that doesn't have quite the same ring to it. I was kind of interested in this one, but I don't think I would've followed up on it if I hadn't seen Roeper's review. I don't remember what he said anymore, but I decided it was okay enough to watch. 

I was mostly interested in the visual aspect, and that's the part that paid off. Visually, it's a great movie. A feast for the eyes, if you will. I loved the cinematography, the costumes, the landscapes, the sets, all of it. It didn't all work; some of the camerawork seemed a little pretentious. But for the most part, it was really interesting to watch. I wish I had seen it at the theater.

Kristen Stewart sucked, though. I mean, she's just terrible. She doesn't act. She isn't pretty. Her eyes don't even have a color. It's bizarre. I don't understand why anyone would want to cast her in anything. 

Ruby Sparks

Ruby Sparks looked great and it was fun to watch, even though I didn't like Ruby. Nothing exploded and no one died, which was nice for a change.

I know what you're thinking: Paul Dano again? How many movies has this guy been in? I don't know, because this is the last one I know of. Not that I watched it just because he was in it; it just seemed like an interesting movie. He doesn't play the Looper-style character I'm into in this one, anyway. In fact, it's kind of hard to get used to his aesthetics here, but I managed to do it after a while.

Calvin was a lot like me, in terms of being serious, controlling, introverted, boring, etc. Unlike Calvin, I did not like Ruby. Part of it was her face. It was really weird. Zoe's so skinny, but she has this weird chipmunk fat face. She was kind of like the girl in Eternal Sunshine. Too kooky for me.

Django Unchained

Some parts of Django Unchained dragged, and overall it was too long, but there were a lot of great scenes. Waltz' character was kind of annoying, but Foxx was fine, and DiCaprio was awesome. If you like Tarantino's stuff, it's worth watching while you can still catch it at the dollar show.

I've actually wanted to see the original Django for a few years now, but it hasn't happened yet. I didn't think I needed to see this one at the theater, although I'd always planned to see it at home. But then yesterday I saw that it was available on iTunes, and I thought, "How many times are you going to get a chance to see a Tarantino movie in the theater?" Lucky for me, it was still at the dollar show (which is actually $3.50, but I think that's reasonable).

You could tell what kind of movie this was right from the opening credits. Tarantino was definitely having fun with it. I'm glad he got to do a movie like this, and it's an interesting concept. It goes on for so very long, though. There was a lot that could've been cut out. Self-indulgent, you might even say.

The Avengers

The Avengers got too much hype, and it went on for too long. It missed the mark in a lot of ways, but the dialogue was good. Tom Hiddleston pretty much made the movie as Loki, and I like Chris Hemsworth and Robert Downey Jr., too.

Somehow, I haven't been able to see The Avengers until now. I did request it from the library four months ago, but the library system in this county really sucks in terms of having enough media for the amount of patrons they serve. So, I'm late to the party, and I already knew all of the funny/interesting scenes.

I'm not a fangirl; I'm not into comics at all, but I've spent enough time around them to be bored to tears. I haven't seen The Hulk or Iron Man. I've seen enough parts of Thor and Captain America to know I'm not interested in the rest. I did like Iron Man 2, and I liked Hellboy. They should've brought him in, too. But I guess he's not Marvel.

The Avengers movie got way too much hype, at least in my circles. I heard about it for months before it came out. I didn't like the marketing, either. Too full of itself, maybe. I wasn't expecting a whole lot out of the movie. I do like the Iron Man character, and Robert Downey, Jr., and that aspect was good. The light on Tony Stark's chest is always a distraction for me. I imagine filmmakers are always thinking about when and to what extent it should be visible. I don't think they always made the right decision on that in this movie. Chris Hemsworth does a great Thor; that's a character I enjoy, too. Ruffalo was good.

I watched the featurette on the DVD, and I think it was Whedon (maybe not though) who said something like, "You'll always see Chris Evans as Steve Rogers now, it overrides all his other roles." No, actually, I won't. I see him as the guy from The Losers, which I liked better than this movie, anyway, thank you very much. I like Evans, but he looks kind of weird as Captain America. It doesn't really work for me.

Johansson did a fine job with Black Widow. Renner didn't do anything for me as Hawkeye, though. Loki was a great villain. That part totally worked for me from his first scene. Tom does a leer that's perfect for the role. Going in, I felt like the plot was going to be kind of dumb, but Tom at least made that part of the movie better than I was expecting it to be. I loved what they did with his hair, too; the little bits curling up in the back were a great touch.

Killer Elite

Killer Elite was great. I'm a Statham fan, and I was pleasantly surprised to see Dominic Purcell get a big role, too. I liked the characters, the plot was good, and the action was fun.

Killer Elite is another movie that needed better press. I hadn't heard of it until I saw a Roeper review. He made it look good, and I'm always down to watch anything with Jason Statham, so I gave it a shot. It turned out to be one of the best movies I've seen this year. The acting was perfect, it had some original action scenes, and the plot was totally unique. I highly recommend it if you're into this kind of movie.

The Princess Bride

The Princess Bride is solid for a cult classic. It's funny, the lines are quotable, and there are some entertaining parts. It's not really my thing, but it wasn't terrible.

They probably could've come up with a better title for The Princess Bride. It's not very descriptive. But I guess the whole movie basically is about her. I hadn't ever seen this movie before, which, in certain circles, would be considered crazy. I liked it more than Labyrinth, at least (although that’s not saying much, because I didn't like Labyrinth at all. I even rated it 2/5, which is pretty rare).

Being Flynn

There are some interesting characters in Being Flynn, but you don't get to learn much about most of them, and the movie doesn't really go anywhere as a whole. Unless you're as into Paul Dano as I am, I don't recommend it.

 
I hadn't seen or heard anything about Being Flynn until Roeper reviewed it. He made it look interesting (and he liked it), so I thought I'd give it a shot. I like Paul Dano. I think he'll be interesting to keep an eye on. I'm not sure this movie is really worth watching if you're not into him, though. It kept my attention, but I pretty much knew the whole time it couldn't be going anywhere good, or at least if it did, it wouldn't be realistic.

The procedural stuff in the homeless shelter was kind of interesting.

Hanna

Hanna was a great movie. The score adds an entire dimension to the experience, the villains are great, and the action is solid. It's got some major plot holes, but it wasn't intended to be taken seriously.

Hanna: probably not the last in the long line of movies I wanted to see, then decided I didn't need to see after all, then decided to watch after seeing Roeper's review. I'm glad I saw this one. The action sequences were great. I loved Tom Hollander's character. He was so interesting. The Chemical Brothers did a great job with the score. It added a whole dimension to the movie. Cate Blanchett was a superb villain, too. I loved all the languages and accents.
 

Safe House

Safe House: Reynolds and Washington both give great performances, but that didn't quite make the movie for me. The whole "chase" theme got old after a while, and the ending was just bizarre.

Safe House is yet another movie that was vaguely on my to-see list, then shelved, then revived by a Roeper review. Reynolds and Washington both give great performances here, but that didn't quite make the movie for me.  The whole "chase" theme got old after a while, and the ending was just bizarre.

At first, everything was really fast, and I had no idea what was going on. Then I got into it, and it was pretty interesting. Then towards the middle-end, I just got really sick of the action. I was like, "Okay, alright, chase, we get it! Chase chase chase, they should've just named it 'Neverending Chase Movie.'"

There are some good action sequences, and some good car chases. 

Memento

It has enough cool aspects to earn a solid 3, but it's sad.

 I had to watch something solo today. I couldn't find any of the movies I actually wanted. I checked Xfinity free stuff (there is nothing there I will ever want to watch), Hulu, and Netflix to no avail. I was puttering around my last resort, Hulu, when I saw they had Memento. I had seen it earlier in my search, on my "to watch" list, but I'd long passed the point when I actually wanted to watch it, so I hadn't bothered to see if I could find it anywhere. But, seeing it there on Hulu, I remembered what it was actually about, and I decided it was time to see it, if only to finally be able to say I had.

Guy Pearce is awesome. One of my favorite actors, for sure. I don't think I liked Memento, though. There were a lot of twists, and parts of it were interesting. I liked some of the themes, and the dialogue was stellar in parts. But parts of it also lagged, and it was a bit of a downer. It's slightly reminiscent of The Salton Sea, in ways, but I liked that movie a lot more.

Stake Land

A few things don't work, but it's immersive and original.

Stake Land is intense. There's really no way to describe how viciously it pulls you in. You're immediately thrust into all the shock, horror, and gore. It's so hardcore it makes The Walking Dead look like Cinderella. I've seen my fair share of zombie/vampire movies, but I was not prepared for this one. It reminded me a lot of Feast, without the humor. Any humor. No humor here.

Contraband

Cool concept with lots of twists and tension.

I wanted to see Contraband before it came out, but I had pretty much shelved it until I saw Roeper's review. He said it was good, so I figured I'd give it a shot. I really liked it. It was hard to get into at first, though. That camerawork was driving me crazy. Totally unnecessary. Didn't add anything. What was the point? Either it stopped halfway through, or I just got used to it, because I didn't notice it as much after that.

Cowboys & Aliens

Also starring: Daniel Craig's butt.
A movie not without its faults, but good show.

I didn't want to see Cowboys & Aliens. It seemed too gimmicky. Everyone was all like, "what a crazy movie! It's all there in the title, cowboys and aliens, ha ha ha!" And I was like..no. Plus, I didn't like Daniel Craig. I didn't get why everyone liked him so much. I hadn't seen him in anything. Then I saw him in Skyfall. Turns out, he's a good actor. Then I saw Roeper's review of Cowboys. He liked it, and he made it seem like something I wanted to see, so I got it.

Cloud Atlas

Not life-changing, but it held my interest.

First of all, someone should really have done a better job promoting Cloud Atlas. Until I saw a review of it, I pretty much just knew it was a bunch of confusing stuff involving Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, and the future, and that's not very appealing.

I liked the stories about the future the most. What happened in Neo Seoul was utterly appalling. Some of the stories weren't as entertaining/satisfying as the others, but you've got a lot to choose from, so it's kind of a wash. Some of the makeup was distracting, and there were times when the constant switching between stories got to be annoying.

I think my favorite character was probably Old Georgie. He was such a mystery, and he had a great outfit. The movie leaves a few things unanswered. Not about the Fall or the rebellion, like some people apparently wonder about, but smaller things. It makes me want to read the book, but there are so many upsetting parts I don't want to revisit.

Overall, it wasn't life-changing, but it held my interest.

Shutter Island

This movie has a lot going for it. Scorsese's a great director, DiCaprio's a great actor. The overall production is solid. The ending wasn't exactly a surprise, and it's still a bit more ambiguous than I'd like, although I'm not sure what could've been done to change that.