Sellebrity

In a word: boring.

I watched this movie over a couple days in about 8 sittings. I figured it wouldn't be worth sitting through all at once, and I was right. It wasn't very interesting or insightful, and it focused a lot on blaming the public for why celebrities exist and have such a hard time getting any privacy. I guess that's a valid assessment, but I wasn't expecting it to be the focus of the movie. I didn't really learn anything by watching this; I think E! probably could've done a better job in one of their specials.

The Counselor

The Counselor looks good and the soundtrack is cool, but that's not enough of a reason to watch it. The plot is laid out poorly, and the dialogue is pretentious and out of place. Whatever they were going for didn't work. 

It's been two months since I've seen a movie. So much for my "one movie a week" plan. The Counselor was a really disappointing return to movies. I didn't get a clear idea from the trailer what the movie was even about, but it looked slick. Roeper really steered me wrong on it - I can't believe he gave it an A+! I should've checked it out on IMDb; they're closer to the mark with a rating of 5.5. The actual movie was a lot like the trailer. I had no idea what was going on a lot of the time, and some things still weren't clear by the end.

Ender's Game

Ender's Game is well-made. The acting, writing, and production value are all fine. It's mildly interesting, but it doesn't really pick up until the end, and I wound up wondering why I watched it.

I haven't read any of the Ender's Game series, but the movie kind of looked interesting, and Roeper gave it a B at least. The acting was fine, and Asa was likeable enough as Ender. I'm not sure I would've kept the last name "Butterfield" if I were Asa. I guess he likes it.

The movie more or less held my interest, and it moved along at a quick pace. Probably too quick of a pace; in the book I imagine they had more time to draw things out. The pace made things seem a little choppy in the movie. It was well-made; it looked good, and the writing/dialogue was good. It was still a little flat, though. People on IMDb described it as "too linear" and "rushed," and I guess I'd agree with that.

The Lone Ranger

I don't know why The Lone Ranger got such bad reviews. It's a fun Disney movie with action, comedy, villains, likeable characters, and great cinematography.
 

The Lone Ranger got some pretty bad reviews, but it still looked like it might be fun. I don't really know anything about the TV series, so I went into it with a completely blank slate on that front; no expectations, and nothing for the movie to live/match up to. I was skeptical about Johnny Depp playing a Native American, and I was right to be; it wasn't so much like watching "Tonto" as it was just watching "Johnny Depp in makeup," but that's okay. I enjoyed his performance anyway.

I really liked what Armie Hammer did with the character of The Lone Ranger. He was pretty endearing. I liked how he always wanted to do the right thing, but he was naïve and kind of bumbling. He just seemed like a good guy, totally out of his element.

It kind of came across as a kids' movie, but then there was a lot of drinking and prostitutes and eating people going on, so it was weird in that respect. It was Disney, after all. I don't think Helena's character Red really needed to be in it. She didn't do much. And Helena's starting to look old. 

William Fichtner gave the performance of his life as Cavendish, or maybe the character design people just did an awesome job. He was barely recognizable; I didn't even know it was him until halfway through the movie. That lip problem he had going on was really disturbing. All the rangers were so dirty, too. That was weird.

Elysium

Elysium focused too much on the heavy-handed theme and not enough on the actual story elements. It wasn't exciting, believable, or worth watching. 

The trailer for Elysium didn't sell me on it, and neither did Roeper's review, even though he gave it an A-, which is pretty high. It's from the same guy who directed District 9. He really needs to lay off the heavy-handed themes. He's not changing the world with these movies. He's from South Africa, though, so I guess that explains where he gets it.

Cockneys vs. Zombies

Cockneys vs. Zombies was a cool idea, but the execution was atrocious. Nearly everything the characters did was illogical to the point of being obnoxious. I did like some of the characters, and it was funny at times, but you're better off just watching the trailer and pretending you've seen the movie. 

Cockneys vs. Zombies had a great trailer, so I was immediately interested. Roeper didn't review it, so I didn't have any help there. Reviews on IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes were mixed. I felt like it was one of those movies where you would like it if you were predisposed to, so I kept it on my list.

That was a big mistake. This movie was terrible. The idea was cool - tough old people fighting zombies. But the execution was rough. It felt like some college kids got together and made a movie. The production value was just nonexistent. The zombies didn't look dead. They moved so slowly, I don't see how they could be a threat to anyone.

I haven't seen the classic zombie movies, but I think that's what they were going for with these zombies and effects; that and, they clearly had no money with which to make the movie. The effects were super fake and super gory at the same time. They were pretty gross. Even though the zombies were slow, I did still find them scary, but I'm easy to scare.

RED 2

If you liked RED (which I did), you'll probably like RED 2. They did less with weighty moments and more with comedy this time, which was fine with me. It was a fun ride with a little bit of everything from humor to action and intrigue.

I really liked RED, so I pretty much knew I was going to watch RED 2 as soon as I heard about it. It probably would've been helpful if I had read over a synopsis of RED first, though. I didn't remember much about it. Even so, RED 2 was hilarious right from the start. I was going to give it a 3, but it's so funny, I have to move it up to a 3.5.